Provisional death certificates

Provisional death certificates

There’s a person I know with serious medical issues. He’s undergoing various treatments, which may, or may not succeed in healing him. The therapy is exceedingly difficult, and the doctors, despite their continuing efforts, are not optimistic. A few days ago a senior medical staff member at the hospital had a meeting with the patient’s family. The conversation went something like this:

Professor: Your loved one isn’t in very good shape. We’ll continue to treat him, but chances of recovery are very small. In cases like this we have a standard procedure which can help to lessen your pain.

Family member: We certainly expect that you haven’t given up hope. The medication may still prove to be effective, we continue to pray, and miracles do happen.

Professor: True, but in this profession one learns to expect the worst. Therefore we have conducted major research projects attempting to discover ways to ease your suffering.

Family member: Our suffering? Shouldn’t you be concentrating on the patient?

Professer: Yes, umm, well, we work in several different directions simultaneously.

Family member: OK, I’m not sure that this is really necessary, but what do you suggest? Tranquilizers?

Professor: No, just this.

With that, the professor removed a document from an envelope he’d been gripping and handed it to the family member.

Reminiscent of a college diploma, the paper was titled, ‘Provisional Death Certificate,’ and showed the ill person’s full name, date of birth and an date of death. It was signed by the chief doctor, the Professor and the hospital CEO.

Reading the document, the family member sunk into a nearby chair, paled, and began shaking and crying.

Professor: Ah ha, you see, this is exactly the reaction we expect. All the signs of initial grief. Having already gone through this now, it will be much easier for you when the event actually happens. You will then receive the same certificate, only then it will not be titled ‘provisional,’ and the date will, of course, be changed. You understand that this way, later on, it won’t hurt so much.

Family member: (gasping and stuttering) You aren’t trying to heal him; you’re preparing him for death! That’s not your job. You are supposed to emanate life, not discharge death!

The Prime Minister: We are providing life; a world-to-come, a new life for us and our neighbors. We are creating life, a new state, with provisional borders.

The Jewish people: But these provisional borders are nothing less than a death trap, perpetrated to ensnare us unaware, and then bury the Jewish state of Israel.

PM: I am doing what is provisionally best for the state.

Jewish people: So said your predecessor prior to abandonment of Gush Katif. Since then, hundreds still unemployed, without permanent housing, and thousands of rockets blasted into Israel from the very land we gave them! Again, you will repeat that same mistake again?!

(The Prime Minister glancing behind him, where he sees Olmert, Livni, and Obama cheering him on.)

PM: (taking a deep breath) Ah, well, Gush Katif was an excellent practice session in preparation for the next stage, provisional borders of a new Arab state. And these temporary boundaries are the concluding plans prior to the final solution; just think, following these experiences, perhaps it won’t hurt so much…..

Professor: Easy now, just fill in the blanks – Provisional Death Certificate Name- The State of Israel; Born- May, 1948; Provisional death- Creation of the provisional palestinian state bordering Israel. (Final date to be filled in upon absolute ceasing to exist). ROP (Ruins of Provisionality)